10 Steps for Saying Goodbye to Sentimental Objects

Old photographs, hand-me-down tea sets, sweaters, school art projects — we all have some variations of these items, just sitting in boxes, waiting for … er, what is it they are waiting for, exactly? A day when you will suddenly wake up and feel a need to riffle through baby clothes and silver spoons? While I am (sort of) joking, the truth is that we will never look at many of the “important” items sitting in boxes in storage. We keep them because we are emotionally tied to these things, and because when we see them we cannot bear to get rid of them. What if, by editing your keepsakes, you were able to process your past and free up emotional space to live a richer, healthier life in the present?

By carefully and intentionally examining each object, you can end up with a more special and meaningful collection of truly important items worth keeping. If you’re feeling ready to take charge of your keepsakes and heirlooms, these 10 steps can help guide you through the process.

1. Prepare yourself. For less intense clutter-busting sessions, it may be enough to put on some music and spend a random chunk of free time tossing things. Dealing with emotionally charged keepsakes is another story. Find a time when you’ll have the house to yourself and get ready to focus for several hours or more, depending on how much stuff you have to go through. I’ve found that the decision-making process works like a muscle — the more you use it, the easier it gets. So spending a longer stretch of time decluttering is easier, because you will get better (and faster) at making decisions as the day goes on.


2. Get the object on its own. Staring into a box of items will only cloud your judgment. You’ll find yourself tempted to toss — or keep — the whole lot, instead of figuring out if you really care about the items inside. So the first thing you should do with each piece you are considering is to get it on its own. That means you will be dealing with one photo, one plate and one sweater at a time, and evaluating it on its individual merits (and ability to pull at your heartstrings), rather than lumping things together. It may seem like a lot of trouble, but it’s the only way to make informed decisions about what to keep.


3. Touch the object. Now that you have the object on its own, pick it up and touch it. If it’s a blanket or sweater, wrap yourself in it or bury your nose in it. Get your brain out of the way for a moment and allow your senses to fully take in the object.


4. Assess your feelings. Once you’ve touched the object, put it down and assess how you feel about it. When you touched it, did you feel joyful, content, sad, guilty or disappointed? If the object carries negative emotions for you, or if you didn’t feel much of anything, give yourself permission to let it go. The only keepsakes you keep should be ones that evoke strongly positive emotions.


5. Answer the question, “Am I done with this?” Do you want what this object represents to you to be a part of your story going forward? Or are you ready to let it go? Trust your gut reaction and don’t overthink this.

6. Consider others. Does this object belong to someone else, or might someone else in your family want it? Don’t forget to check with that person before discarding something that could potentially be quite meaningful to him or her — but don’t let it languish in your storage area anymore, either.


7. Say goodbye. It may sound a bit silly, but actually saying goodbye to the objects you’ve chosen to let go of can help bring a sense of closure — not only to the lightening of your space, but to the emotions you are choosing to let go of, too.

8. Remove the objects from your space. Do not delay this step! Chances are, if the objects sit around in your home for any time, they will find their way back into your closet. Physically remove them from your home today.


9. Affirm your trust in future abundance. If you’re still feeling conflicted at this stage, or are letting doubts creep in about whether you really should have let those things go, now is the time to affirm your trust in the future. These things represented your past. You are done with them. The space that you have created — in your closet and in your heart — is now open and ready to receive new, unexpected, abundant joy. By letting go of the past, you are saying yes to your future.


10. Celebrate. This stuff is not easy to go through, so be sure to treat yourself to tea and cake (or a glass of champagne) when you’re done! Going through emotionally charged mementos may be best done alone, but when you’re done, it helps to connect. Why not have a party with your nearest and dearest, and display some of your keepers around the room to spark conversation?

More:
4 Obstacles to Decluttering — and How to Beat Them
Simple Pleasures: Your Home Is Your Château

Tell us: What emotionally charged objects are you having a hard time letting go of (even though you want to)?

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