Portrait of a Reformed Terrible Housekeeper
Remember my friend Billy? You know, the man who once packed up a box of dirty dishes during a move? The man whose neighbor’s dying wish was for him to clean up his yard?
Several months ago Billy resolved to get organized. He decided to focus on his living room first. Before doing anything he studied the mess and realized it could be broken down into three categories: mail, Diet Coke cans and plates. He opted to place two recycling bins in his front closet — one for mail and the other for cans. To address the plates, he thought a Rubbermaid bin under his sofa as a sort of busing tub would do the trick.
When he told me about his plan, I thought the bin for mail was brilliant, the one for cans a little strange, and the tub for plates completely absurd, but you’ve got to start somewhere, and I knew Billy had no place to go but up. I am a huge believer in starting small and building from there. I really hoped this would work for Billy but, to be perfectly honest, I doubted it would.
When I called a few weeks later to check in, I was wonderfully surprised to hear that Billy had the recycling bins in the closet for the mail and cans, and they were working beautifully.
“What about the tub for plates?” I asked.
“Oh, I decided that was a silly idea. I just take the plates out to the kitchen every night.”
“You do!”
“Yes, it’s not that big of a deal,” he said, his tone modest.
I thought it was a huge deal.
“Things are looking so good in the living room, I got inspired to go down to the basement and clean up my laundry room,” he added.
In the 14 years Billy has lived in his house, I have never been down in his basement. I have heard stories about the place, but I’ve never actually seen it.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, you know I’m a piler, not a filer?”
This was so ridiculously obvious, we both burst out laughing.
“I never thought you were anything else,” I said once I could speak.
“I started looking around and realized it really wasn’t that big of a mess. There was a pile of lint from all my years of living there, and I thought, ‘Why don’t I buy a trash can?’ And there were about 30 empty bottles of detergent, and I decided, ‘How about I recycle these?’ And then I took my huge stack of dirty clothes to the Laundromat and washed it all up. Now everything is neat and clean, and I don’t hate going down to do my laundry.”
I was very happy for my friend but still a little doubtful this would stick. He was still only a few weeks into following his new habits, and the possibility of his falling back on his old ones was more than likely.
Fall is a busy time for both of us, and Billy and I were out of touch for a couple of months. We talked again a week before Christmas, and I asked him how things were going on the organizational front.
“Great!” he said.
“Really?” I asked.
Billy is a musician, and Christmas is his busiest time of the year. I was expecting him to say his house was a wreck.
“How’s your living room?” I had to ask.
“It’s good.”
“Like someone could just drop by and you wouldn’t have to pretend you’re not home?” I needed to be clear.
“Sure. It’s good. Now, the dining room table is a bit of a mess, because I’m sorting through some papers, and I’ve been so busy I haven’t finished.”
I certainly understood. “That’s wonderful! How’s your laundry room?”
“Great! But the rest of my basement needs a ton of work. For me it’s pretty much one step forward and five steps backward, but I just need to keep making that one step.”
He sounded so reasonable and in touch with his circumstances. I was delighted and a little astonished.
About a week later, he sent me a picture of his dog, Chuck, and in the background was the top of his dresser with only a couple lamps and a picture. “Chuck and I are turning a corner!” said his text.
A few days after New Year’s he sent a picture of his basement (not the one shown here). There was a stack of boxes but the floor was mostly clear, and he was getting rid of an old rug.
“There’s a lot of junk surrounding the carpet,” he wrote in his text. “That’s for another day. Divide and conquer.”
He knows this isn’t a quick fix and that he still has a long way to go. Rather than getting overwhelmed by all he had to do, he made a few small changes; he figured out what worked and what didn’t and established some new habits. Now he’s in an entirely different place than he was a few months ago.
I couldn’t be happier for my friend. Three cheers for Billy!
See where Billy started
