Escape the Inheritance Trap: What to Do With Sentimental Pieces

One of the things that makes a home special is the presence of sentimental treasures. Those items — from a framed snapshot to a favorite aunt’s china — make us feel connected to people and experiences long gone. But they can also keep us trapped in a kind of sentimental bondage. As with most things in life, the key is balance.

Today we’ll discuss how to use nostalgic items, both inherited and chosen, to evoke happy memories (instead of pangs of guilt over the fact that you and your grandma had really different tastes in decor).


Balance begins with a discerning eye and heart. When you’re selecting items to keep from a loved one who has passed away, it can be tempting to go overboard. These items should be ones that you really love and that will work in your space, or ones that remind you of the loved one in a very specific way. Ideally, they should be both.


Vintage Black Milk Glass Serving Tray by Tie The Knot Vintage - $55 For example, my grandmother collected black glass from the 1950s and ’60s. I remember seeing it in her home and talking to her about it. It’s something that I’ve since inherited, and I keep it prominently displayed even as my decor changes. Not only is it supergroovy and beautiful, but it reminds me of my grandmother and of happy memories in her home. I could have asked for more items that belonged to her, but this is what had the most meaning to me and that brings me the most happiness.

On the flip side, I have a client who hates her dining table and chairs. They were from her grandmother, and even though she really doesn’t like them, the guilt of getting rid of them would be too much. That brings me to a rule: Never keep something simply because it belonged to someone you love. While it may make you feel connected to that person, if you don’t like it, that connection won’t be a positive one. Instead, release yourself from guilt and figure out a way to honor your loved one without staring at a big piece of furniture you loathe.


If you simply can’t get rid of the thing, then you need to figure out how to use it. If you’re just sticking it in storage to work its weird voodoo guilt on the next generation, you might as well not have it at all.

Instead, consider updating the piece to fit your needs. One of my clients had a chair rotting in her garage that belonged to her great-grandmother. She loved the bones of the chair, but it didn’t fit her decor. So we refurbished it, lacquering the wood and upholstering it in an American flag — a U.S. version of Britain’s classic Union Jack furniture, which appealed to the client’s patriotism.

Now the chair has a prominent place in the family’s entryway. Sure, it’s not the original fabric or finish, but what’s the point of keeping a piece pristine if it’s not going to be used? Changing something doesn’t take away from its sentimental value. It simply adds a piece of your story.



Another client had a great secretary desk that her grandfather built himself. Again, it was in the garage. We painted it white and put it in her living room. The key is finding ways to update things so they’ll fit in your space. Don’t be afraid to reframe an old piece of art or to restain, repaint or reupholster something to make it work for you. Trust me, it will be awesome.


Collected items are another kind of sentimental decor with their own set of issues. Again, these should tell a story — and that story won’t be remembered if the souvenir is stuck in your garage.

I have a client whose husband collects matchbooks, and there were bags of them from years of trips. No one was enjoying them in the bag. So we took out the collection, pared it down (the couple used duplicate matchbooks for their intended purpose) and then arranged it on linen and had it framed. Now they have a great piece of art that reminds them of all their adventures.

You could even display the matchbooks on a backsplash, like in the example shown here.


Don’t feel limited by how you’re supposed to use things. I have a client who had lots of beautiful sari fabric from India, but she felt it was too special to be used. Instead of socking it away in the back of a closet, we made some gorgeous pillows out of it.


Have a great quilt you’d like to display? Hang it on the wall. Use it as a tablecloth. Forget about its intended use and make it work for you.


Sentimental items should make you feel connected to others and to your own experiences. By putting them in your home, you’re honoring that connection. And by changing the piece or making it into something new, like a piece of art, you’re adding a piece of yourself to the story — making it that much richer when it’s your turn to pass it on.

More: What to Do With Old Family Photos

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