Does Your Home Make You Happy?

Want your kids to hang out at home? Wish you hosted more dinner parties? Need to rekindle the romance with your spouse?

Designing your home to fulfill your emotional needs is no different than designing it to fulfill your practical needs. The secret is to encourage the behaviors that will make you and your family the happiest.

First, figure out your needs. Sometimes you should get something simply because it makes you happy. But your emotional needs go a lot deeper. For example, one of my emotional needs is time for laughing and enjoying the company of friends. I crave this! I don’t live in a huge house, but I love having a group of friends over for a relaxing, casual evening.


My living room would look lovely with a small-scale sofa and some dainty occasional chairs, but that doesn’t fit my emotional need for cozy entertaining. I want people to put their feet up and stay awhile. So instead of smaller furniture, my husband and I opted for a large sectional that comfortably seats six.


If you need more time with friends and family, then set up your space to encourage that behavior. Have eight close friends? If you have enough seating for everyone, you’re more likely to invite everyone over for game night. Want a family dinner without everyone staring at the TV? Set your table beautifully and angle it so no one can see the screen while you dine.


One of my clients is married to a screenwriter, so a practical need for their family was a space where he could screen his work for friends and colleagues. On an emotional level, they also needed the space to double as a fun and inviting family room. Our solution was to build a huge couch with a custom console behind it that is the perfect place to set drinks on. The space is stylish enough to host professional gatherings, but comfortable enough for the family to hunker down and watch their favorite films together. It’s like a cozy genie’s bottle, and the kids love it. They take the cushions from the sofa and build forts, and everyone just enjoys being together.


If you want your kids to get away from the TV or the iPad, give them an enticing alternative. A client of mine recently moved into a new house. The family isn’t sure what they’re going to do with the living room yet, so in the meantime, we created a craft room. It features a large folding table covered in newspaper, and mason and apothecary jars filled with markers, crayons, pipe cleaners, pom-poms and even googly eyes. It’s a budding artist’s dream, and every child (and adult!) who walks through their front door seems to gravitate to that special room. There’s just something about it that inspires creativity and fellowship.


The peace of mind that comes from knowing exactly where your teenager is may be worth the amount of money you’d spend on a game room. Depending on your budget, your teenage haven can have a comfy couch and a big-screen TV for the Wii, or even a foosball table and a vintage pinball machine.


If you don’t have enough room or funds to re-create Tom Hanks’ loft in Big, don’t despair. Examine the emotional needs of everyone involved: You need to know that your kids are safe and out of trouble; your kids need to spend time with their friends; and their friends need to feel welcome. As the sister of a teenage boy, I can tell you that the way to make one feel welcome is to offer him food.


Join a membership warehouse and make sure that your house is always stocked with snacks and beverages. Set them out in a welcoming way, and soon you won’t have to nag your kids to stay in, because your game room (or part-time game room) and little bags of chips will do the job for you.

The same goes for having people over to watch football. If someone in your home is a sports fanatic, make sure you have durable bowls for popcorn and chicken wings, as well as comfy seating and a coffee table or an ottoman that’s tough enough to stand up to a bunch of excited sports fans.


If what you need is more romantic time with your partner, set up your bedroom to induce that behavior. The space should be a sanctuary, so you and your loved one can be intimate and relaxed. If you have a big budget, you could get a large shower with two showerheads — perfect for sharing. Yowza!

Less-expensive options include a great mattress and comfortable sheets, walls painted a cozy color, linens spritzed with a fragrant spray and some fancy candles.


U-Line 3018RGL Glass-Door Refrigerator I have two clients who recently added kitchenettes to their master bedrooms. The first had a medium-high budget, and since she and her husband enjoy unwinding with a glass of wine, we provided storage space for stemware and stocked the little wine fridge with plenty of chilled bottles.


By giving yourself a space where you can relax and enjoy time together as a couple, you make it easier for the moments of connection that you crave to happen naturally.


When you design your home to help fulfill your emotional needs, you’re simply making it easier to encourage positive behaviors and to nurture your most important relationships. In short, you’re transforming your beautiful house into a beautiful home.

More: Home Setups That Serve You: Designing the Kitchen

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