Inviting Kids Into the Kitchen: Suggestions for Nurturing Cooks

Did you know there is an activity you can do with your children that will cultivate personal responsibility and a sense of pride, as well as provide a natural environment for practicing math skills? The best part, unless you eat out for every single meal, is that you're already doing it: cooking.

My children were young when I began to teach them to cook. The older two took to baking quickly. My older daughter, Lydia, whose nickname is Birdie, became such an avid baker, we began to call her "Birdie Crocker." I created cookbooks for her and her older brother, Christopher, with simple family favorites.

Eden, age 4, slicing vegetables. Look at that determined (and chocolatey) little face.

My youngest, Eden, was eager to follow in her siblings' footsteps. She parked herself at our little island and loved to help. She was so much younger than the other two, but she wanted to do whatever they did, including cracking eggs. This made me nervous, until I remembered that her eagerness was a good thing and that the only way to learn to crack an egg is to try it. She obliterated a few, but it wasn't long before she was cracking them like a pro.

By the time she was 4, she had her own little paring knife and cutting board. Once when we were making quesadillas together, she happily diced green peppers while I cut chicken, sliced peppers and onions, and then cooked it all up. We talked while we worked, and she would reach over to grab additional peppers as needed. It was such a natural gesture. She didn't ask for more; she just helped herself as anyone would who was helping me cook dinner. I told her how much I loved cooking with her — and it was true, not just motherly enthusiasm. Her quiet industry and graceful confidence brought joy to what could have been a mundane task.


OXO Cookie Scoop - $12 Today all three of my kids are accomplished bakers, and Eden is delving into breakfast classics: French toast, pancakes and waffles. The older two don't cook as much as they did when they were younger, but they've all expressed an interest in learning more.

I checked in with my friend Sara, a mother of four girls who are 15, 14, 13 and 8 years old. Whenever we visit the girls are flowing in and out of the kitchen, helping in large and small ways. The last time we came over, the 15-year-old offhandedly shook up a homemade vinaigrette and tossed the salad without being asked. For breakfast the 14-year-old made a batch of waffles that were so good, I asked her for the recipe.

True, there was a minor miscalculation in the beginning, resulting in a batch so large it fed all 11 of us with enough left over to freeze for another day, but after a little check-in with Sara, that was quickly solved. I admire the casual comfort and authority Sara's girls have in the kitchen. When I asked her how she fostered this, she had a few thoughts to share.


Put this girl to work!

Children are never too young. Sara started her girls helping out in the kitchen as soon as they could stand on a chair, stirring, dumping premeasured cups and, yes, cracking that egg the very first time.

Kids need to be excited about what they're cooking. Allow them to choose recipes, meals etc. Ownership happens when kids delight in food and are proud of their creations. Sara's motto: "We can never make too many cookies."

Kids who cook will help you. When you invite kids into the kitchen, it can slow down the process initially, but you need to take the long view. Sara's older girls are able to tackle simpler recipes and routinely prepare dinner for the entire family, a bonus for Sara, who works part time and just started back at school.

Talk about nutrition. Sara does this all the time. "We discuss what's good for you as well as what appears to be good and actually isn't. We talk about color — a good plate has color."

Presentation matters. Sara says, "They see Mom taking pictures of a pretty table, and they know it's a big deal. A quick meal can be just tossed on the island, but sometimes the meal is a lovely spread with candles and pretty plates. The girls initiate the pretty setting now and then too."




OXO Vegetable Chopper - $20 This chopper is a safe option to keep an eager helper's little hands safe.

I would add only these suggestions:

Equip them. My kids had their own aprons, and Eden had an adorable little chef's hat. She wore it only once, but it was so cute. The aprons they used frequently. Eden started chopping with a little safety knife we bought for carving pumpkins. It was basically a thickly serrated paring knife. This was great for her to start with, but it was so dull, it quickly became a frustration, and I moved her up to an actual paring knife. It was scary the first time she used it, but I carefully showed her how to cut things safely, and I was judicious in what I allowed her to cut in the beginning.


Give complete control. When Christopher and Lydia were 8 and 10, I gave them a budget and set them loose to plan, purchase and prepare all the ingredients for a dinner party. They made spaghetti with salad and bread, most of which Lydia handled herself with a little guidance from me. Christopher created a flavored olive oil for dipping the bread in, which he labored over and was touchingly concerned about getting the very best flavor for. It was so fun to see them work together, and they were so proud of themselves.

Note: this is not the time to economize. There is always a place for teaching frugality, but the first time your child plans an entire meal, it's a time to splurge.


Epicurean Pizza Cutter - $19.95 Be effusive. Every cook enjoys praise, and children are no exception. Point out something specific you like about what your child has made and ask questions about the process. When Christopher and Lydia had their dinner party, we invited friends to share in the fun, as well as the encouragement.

You may need to teach your children how to receive compliments graciously. Once when Christopher made his specialty, fettuccine Alfredo, for company, we all poured on the praise. He started to apologize for its being not quite as good as he normally made it. I stopped him right there: "Buddy, you can take note of what didn't work, but keep it to yourself. When people compliment you, the appropriate response is, 'Thank you.'"


Here's Eden with one of her cookbooks, making pancakes from scratch. It was the morning after a huge party and the last thing I wanted to do, but she whipped up the batter and needed a hand only with flipping.

Prepare for mistakes. Even the most accomplished cook has had things go awry. Your response when mistakes are made is key. Try to stay upbeat and take the long view. Years ago when Lydia was learning to bake, she decided to make chocolate chip cookies. It wasn't long before she called me over, because the mixture looked strange. It was easy to see she hadn't fully creamed the butter and sugar before adding the eggs and vanilla. I started the mixer and beat everything into a creamy mixture. It wasn't quite what it would have been, but it was fine.

"Is it going to be OK?" Lydia asked as she stirred in the flour.

I assured her it would be and then asked, "What if it wasn't? What if it was ruined?"

She thought for a moment, then answered, "We could start over."

In most cases we can. That day we had plenty of butter and sugar and eggs; it would have just taken time to measure them again.

Later, as we were cleaning up I said, "Sweetie, you know if you try anything, odds are —"

"You're going to make mistakes?"

"Yes, and the sooner you overcome your fear of making them, the happier you're going to be."

If you had seen our kitchen that day, it would have been obvious I was teaching my daughter to bake. But you might not have known — and what I am coming to understand is the truly glorious work of parents, as I taught her an important life skill — is that I was also teaching her how to live.

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