Learn When to Splurge for True Design Happiness

I believe wholeheartedly in practical, functional design that works for a family’s needs. But I also believe that a home should serve emotional needs, too. You know — those things you can't help but love, even when everyone is quick to point out that they're completely impractical. Maybe it’s an all-white kitchen or dark hardwood floors that will (gasp!) show dirt. Sometimes you need to listen to your heart and take a page from Parks and Recreation — that’s right, treat yo self.

Embrace the need for a good splurge. You know who needs a freestanding tub? Nobody. But it's pretty and relaxing, and if your bathroom is your inner sanctum, then go for it.


My bedding is a perfect example. I have soft, luxurious sheets that I hand wash and spritz with lavender. Some of you probably think I'm nuts, but I love my impractical bedding. I'm the first to admit that it does more for me emotionally than it does practically. After all, I’m not the princess in The Princess and the Pea — I could sleep on something that feels less like heaven, but my nice, thick sheets make me feel special and comfortable. I sleep better, and I wake up feeling grateful.


Know that functional does not equal magical. Let’s say you adore dark wood floors, but your mother insists you will grow to hate them because of the upkeep. Don’t automatically dismiss your desire. Practical beige floors do not magically repel dirt — they just mask it. And every day you will look at your dirt-camouflaging beige flooring and think, “You weren’t the star of my dream-home ideabook.” Instead of glaring at your floor and resenting it, let it go home with a nice family who's into beige floors.


Sure, dark wood might require a daily swipe with the Swiffer, but if looking at those floors makes your happy, you won't mind the extra effort that goes into the upkeep.


Find the compromise between emotional and practical needs. While it’s important to honor that gut emotional draw and allow yourself to have something that really makes your heart sing, we still live in the real world. If you've fallen in love with a gorgeous, expensive fabric window covering, consider what that will do to the rest of your budget. Do you love it enough to compromise by spending less on areas that are less important to you, like furniture or flooring?


Have you fallen in love with an iconic chair that you know your kids will lovingly destroy? Maybe it belongs in your master bedroom, and a more practical chair can be part of the pillow forts that happen in the family room. It’s all about finding a balance.


I have so many clients who go back and forth on marble countertops. On the one hand, marble is gorgeous. On the other hand, it’s porous and prone to scratches.

If clients really loves something, then I encourage them to at least consider it as an option. There's no rule that says your whole kitchen has to be marble.

During a recent kitchen remodel, we put marble everywhere except for the island, which is frequently used for food prep. The result is a more practical version of the marble kitchen the client always wanted. She’s now the first to offer up her home for parties and get-togethers. When you love your home, you want to share it.


Be honest with yourself. Will the luxury you’re considering help enhance your relationships, like my client's new kitchen has? Or will it make you dread the day it gets messed up?

I love the Saarinen marble Tulip Table. It speaks to my soul. But I know if I had friends over and someone spilled red wine on it, I would be annoyed. I love that table, but I love my friends and family more. No matter how beautiful an object, it's not worth it if it makes you anxious to use it or if it becomes more important than the people in your life.

Instead of the Tulip Table, I got an awesome wooden table that looks better as it ages. During a bro night, my husband and younger brother were using acetone paint remover while sitting at that seemingly indestructible table, and they accidentally removed some of its varnish. At first I was a little peeved, but when I look at those spots, I’m reminded of the fact that my little brother and my husband have a great relationship and enjoy hanging out together.

How to embrace a home's scratches and dents


Let go of the need to be perfect. We talk about accepting imperfection in ourselves, our bodies and other people. But it’s also important to accept it in our homes. Splurging on a special item that you love can enhance your relationships by making you love your home and want to share it with the people in your life. But the need to keep it museum-perfect forever will stifle you. The bumps and acetone spots on your stuff are like your favorite scars — reminders of old stories and a fully lived life. After all, the imperfections are what make life interesting.

More: 13 Ways to Be Happier in Your Home This Year

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