Another Independence Day: When Kids Can Do Their Laundry

Here in the States we recently celebrated Independence Day. For our family, it's a day full of fun that starts with our local parade. When my children were younger, I would dress them in some mixture of red, white and blue — nothing new, just outfits pulled together from clothes they already had.

My youngest, Eden, is 10. She is the only one who stills consults with me on attire for the Fourth. This year, about a week before the festivities, she chose a navy blue shirt with large white polka dots and khaki shorts. The polka-dot shirt was clean and I recommended she hang it in her closet, ready for the Fourth, and she did so right away. The shorts are ones she wears constantly and I forgot about them until the night before the parade. I asked Eden where they were and when she said, "In the wash." I told her to grab them so I could throw in a small load before bed.

"Mommy, they're in the washing machine right now — I wanted to clean them before tomorrow so I put in a load."

I didn't fall to my knees and ugly cry, but it was close. Another independence day was being celebrated, and just like the original, this one was years in the making.

Eden was a toddler when I began to scheme how I could delegate laundry. We didn't have room in our budget for a cleaning service, so I didn't know how I could swing offloading my laundry, but I was desperate.

Of all the endless tasks of home keeping, laundry is the worst: so many steps and it never, ever ends. And then I noticed Eden's older brother and sister, two bright and able-bodied children who, with just a little training, would be perfect laundry minions. And, if we labeled it "Learning Responsibility and Life Skills," it would be considered good mothering rather than lazy homemaking. Yes!

I began to teach the big kids, then 10 and 12, how to do their own laundry that very day. It took quite a while — months and months — but eventually they began to establish their own rhythms of doing laundry. For my son, it's when he runs out of clothes, give or take a few days.


Eden was so much younger that I knew it would be years before she could do hers. I forgot about it until a few months ago when I realized she was more than old enough, and I began to teach her.

If you would like to experience this liberation, you need to:

1. Teach your children how to do laundry.
2. Stop doing it for them.

Simple as that.

The first step will take a while, and in the beginning you will probably initiate everything — that's OK. Teach your child how to:


1. Sort Have your child bring all her dirty clothes into the laundry room. We divide between lights, brights and darks. Your child can begin this quite young, when she is still a toddler. Young children love to help, and being involved in the family's work is a source of pride. Take advantage of this (fleeting) stage and get your kids involved in the day-to-day running of the household while they are still young.

2. Pre-treat stains. Once the loads are sorted, teach your child to examine each article of clothing for stains. Point out the obvious places: shirt fronts and the knees and seats of shorts and pants. Whatever treatment you use, have it clearly labeled and show your child an adequate covering.


3. Check pockets. This is an easily forgotten but vitally important step. Provide a small basket or dish to hold the contents of pockets.

4. Fill the washer. Teach your child to fill the washer no more than 3/4 full with clothing. Help her to recognize what that looks like. Don't jam everything in tightly; make sure there is room for the water and detergent to freely move around the clothes.


5. Add detergent. If you have a top loader, you may need to reverse the order of clothing and detergent. Show your child the appropriate amount of detergent and whatever else you use. I recommend keeping it simple and sticking with only detergent, especially if you're teaching a younger child. As she gets older, and her clothes become more precious, you can teach how to treat and wash delicates, but in the beginning, keep it as foolproof as possible.

6. Choose settings. In the interest of saving money and utilities, many recommend washing exclusively with cold water. I use cold for some darks but for the sake of hygiene I wash everything else in warm and, occasionally hot, water. Explain to your children what to use when, and again, keep it simple. I have taught Eden to select cold for jeans and dark shirts and pants and warm for everything else. She sticks to the normal cycle for every load.


7. Clean the lint trap. When we transfer our loads from the washer to the dryer, part of our routine is to clean the lint trap. For some reason my kids always enjoyed this, which made establishing the habit natural.

8. Fold. This is another task your children can be helping with when they are only a couple of years old. Start off with washcloths and let them work up from there. Don't be a perfectionist, and be sure to lavish them with praise. By the time they are doing their own laundry, they will be quite adept. Of course some kids will skip this step and you will need to be OK with that.

Tip: Skip folding underwear. Teach them to lay it in neat flat piles.

9. Put away the clothes. Even naturally organized people can fall prey to the "later" thinking when it comes to putting away laundry. Teach your children to do this immediately, even while they are still doing additional loads.


This may seem like a lot, and it is. Gradually allow your children more and more autonomy. When they ask questions, answer cheerfully, even if you have told them "Warm! Normal cycle!" what seems like a thousand times. As they begin to take over, praise them for being responsible.

Phase 2

Depending on your personality, you may be surprised to discover the second step is actually more difficult. This is how you stop doing your child's laundry.

1. Stop doing it. Before you do this, give your kid a fighting chance by loading up on underwear and socks — but not too many. You could run Phase 2 at the same time you are teaching your child all the components of how to do laundry. When it occurs to her she is running out of clothes, say, "Looks like you need to do a load! Let me know if you need any help." If you have already gone through the steps several times, let the child initiate sorting and only offer to help when asked. Again, this is only after you have modeled it for her several times.

2. Don't cringe at the results. Remember that your child is learning a lifelong skill that many adults struggle to do consistently. You may catch her wearing stained or wrinkled clothes because she forgot to pre-treat or neglected to fold her clothes promptly. This may seem like an unlikely cause for celebration, but it is just the same. Celebrate her burgeoning independence and your glorious freedom.

More: The Best Storage Secrets for Clothes

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