The Wisdom of Kenny Rogers, for Declutterers

If you were alive in the late '70s, you probably have at least one song from Kenny Rogers' album The Gambler tattooed on your brain. I was and I have two: "Lucille" and "The Gambler" — at least the choruses, that is. I loved to twang along to "Lucille," but it was memorizing "The Gambler" that has helped me out of a jam or two, although not in poker, as you might think, but in decluttering. It's all right there in the middle of the song:

"Now every gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep."

I know, I know; why doesn't Kenny suggest we fly backward in time before we accumulated so much stuff, right? If we knew what to throw away, we would be Naturally Organized and wouldn't even be reading this except to roll our eyes and judge. I know! Aren't we glad Kenny/The Gambler breaks it down.

You Got to Know When to Hold 'Em

It's unfortunate he started here, because it's the most difficult thing to figure out. If you are new to decluttering, you may be desperate to lighten your load until you get into the nitty-gritty of actually getting rid of your stuff, and you're finding that your compulsion is to keep everything.

Don't worry; that's normal. To get started, assess your belongings. Think about what things are most important to you and why. I have done this, and there are only three things in my entire house I would hold on to. I'll tell you about one.

When I was quite young, my mother's little country school was torn down, but first everything was put up for auction. My parents bought, among other things, the table from the the chemistry lab. Six feet long, solid wood with turned legs, it looked like a traditional farm table. My mother placed it behind the long end of the sectional in our family room and loaded it with a couple of lamps and framed family photographs.

Through various house moves she always found a place for it until her last move, into the snug little "cottage" my husband, Paul, and I built for her (attached by a breezeway to our new house), and she kindly gave it to me. I put it to work as our dining table, and it brought immediate warmth and beauty to our new and bare home, but the deep apron made it impractical for long-term use. Adults of an average height had to slide their legs carefully under it, but this was impossible for 6-foot-6-inch-tall Paul, who could only straddle the side legs, which he did patiently until I found a suitable replacement.

We moved the old table upstairs to a wide hallway just around the corner from our tiny laundry room. Our future plans for this hall are to add a long built-in desk and shelves. When this happens, I'll move the table down to the basement and place it behind the long end of our sectional there.

Unless one of my siblings wants the table someday, I don't really see myself ever getting rid of it, since it's beautiful, useful and a true antique, and it has a wonderful history in our family and beyond. Part of your decluttering could be prioritizing your attachment to different things. When you identify those things you never ever want to part with, it may shed light on the others that don't matter quite so much.


Know When to Fold 'Em

The best place to start with decluttering is figuring out what you can part with.

My brother-in-law, David, recently had an epiphany: He can't handle books. His wife — my sister, Torey — has known this since they married, as she, by default, has had the task of organizing his extensive and ever-growing collection.

David would routinely come home with boxes or bags full of books he had picked up for next to nothing at estate and library sales. I don't know what exactly triggered it, but he finally saw that of all his books, there were only a few genres he actually read, and about everything else he would say, "That looks interesting," and put it on the shelf. (Full disclosure: My sister probably shelved it.)

They are moving later this month, and he has decided, with the exception of art books, to get rid of them all. Going forward, any books he buys will be digital, again with the exception of art books.

Now before you begin the frantic, "You'll have to pull my books from my cold, dead hands" comments, just know I'm with you. Books are the only things I still actively acquire, but I get rid of them just as freely, either though donations or sales to my local bookstore. I have to love a book to keep it.

Books may not be something you want or need to declutter, but collections are a great place to start the process. All that Coke memorabilia you acquired in the '90s gathering dust in your basement? What about abandoned hobbies? It's OK to pass on that unfinished quilt or that stack of license plates you were going to make into purses and sell on eBay and just never got around to doing.


This kind-looking lady probably doesn't consider herself an evil temptress, but those of us trying to declutter know better.

Know When to Walk Away

When you begin to declutter, the first and easiest thing you can do is to stop the flow of stuff into your home. If you struggle with clutter, odds are that a sign advertising a garage, yard, estate or book sale causes your pulse to race and your foot to hit the brake. You are not alone. For some of us, there is a unique thrill in finding a treasure for pennies on the dollar that no other buying experience provides.

If you are in the midst of, or merely considering, a big decluttering, the best thing you can do is avoid sales of any sort. When I was in the throes of my great purge and I saw the signs, I drove on by, telling myself firmly, "You don't need anything." And it was true. Even after our fire, when I needed everything, I continued to avoid them, because I didn't want to buy a load of things I didn't need. We lived for a year with only the few possessions the insurance company rented for us, and we were fine.

Today I like to go to thrift stores and various sales, but I rarely buy, and when I do it's something I truly need.


We can easily park three cars in our garage, but it isn't quite as neat as this one.

Know When to Run

We moved my mother into her little place the same week we moved into our new house. She took only what she wanted to keep and left the rest, which was ... substantial. My siblings and I all chose what we wanted and sorted through the rest until we made it down to a few boxes of miscellaneous tools we planned to donate, because no one had the strength to go through one more box.

When I noticed Paul loading them into our van, I tried to stop him. He assured me there were quite a few things we needed. I preferred to buy as we went, like I was doing with our kitchen items and pretty much everything else, but Paul was firm.

Two years later those boxes are still in our garage and have been joined by a few more from his own mother's purge of her garage. Paul isn't a pack rat, and we have a big garage, so it isn't a problem, but for me and other Not Naturally Organized folks, boxes of free stuff we may or may not need are to be avoided like the plague. Run, my people, run!

Whether in poker or decluttering, everything we need to know to win is all laid out for us. I hope you'll take The Gambler's advice.

More: How to Get With a New Minimalist Mentality

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